He complained that the new policy “takes all the romance out of everything” and that if he’d had to wait for women to agree, he wouldn’t have had any sex in college.
“The chances of someone involved getting beheaded seem high,” Deputy Secretary of Defense Robert Work said. “Nonetheless, we’re just going to sit back and see how this one unfolds.”
After the surgery, Nizewitz plans to debut her new genitalia on the videogame “Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2” for Sega Dreamcast.
“Americans need to wake up from their government-induced stupor and fight for the freedom to get a rush the only way they know how,” said Limbaugh. “Besides, old habits die hard.”
“If these trends continue, America might find itself at ‘Off the Wall’ levels of racial harmony by the end of the decade.”
Smith, an outspoken marijuana enthusiast, then squandered the occasion by rambling on for 45 minutes about his plans to film a follow-up to his critically reviled 2007 film “Jersey Girl.”
Glitter is what happens when a newt and a unicorn get sucked up into a vacuum cleaner with Mozart, the Trilateral Commission, General Tso’s Chicken, and Don Rickles.
One employee working on the project, who asked to remain anonymous, told Newslo that “all of the challenges are based on stories from the Bible. After this interview, I actually have to order about 10,000 locust eggs. “