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Rick Santorum: Why Gays Are Forcing Me to Divorce my Wife - Newslo



Rick Santorum: Why Gays Are Forcing Me to Divorce my Wife

(Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons)(Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons)

Dear Friends,

I’ve spent much of the last week in my study, reflecting on the state of the world. How have we gotten here? When did this all become okay? And what do we do now?

I, for one, have chosen to act preemptively. Soon, the sodomites will be slipping on wedding rings. They’ll be lying down in marital beds, and will be doing so legally. This unclean horde will be filing joint tax returns, and receiving federal marriage benefits. The horror is difficult to fathom.

I’ve dedicated much of my political career to fighting against the prospect of this nightmare becoming reality, and to warning the public about the dangers of gay marriage: If gays can marry, the very concept of wedlock is ruined for the rest of us.  Their unholy perversion will corrupt the institution—it will spread like devilish wildfire and soon engulf us all. But, alas, no one listened to me.

With a heavy heart, I announce that I am currently in the process of divorcing my beloved wife of 23 years, the mother of my seven children, Karen. She’s a wonderful woman and a generous mother, but if gays can be married, we cannot be. Gay marriage is like a gangrene infection—you may mourn the amputation of your stricken foot, but chopping it off is necessary if you want to stay alive. In order for Karen and I to remain pure in the eyes of the Lord, we must commit a lesser sin. We must divorce, because if we do not, we may succumb to the evils of gayness, too.

I do not relish this decision. I love being married, and believe deeply in the sacred union of a man and a woman. But ever since Will & Grace, with its deviant message of equality, convinced gays they should get married too, I knew this might happen. And I will bear this cross, knowing Jesus approves.

Are you happy now, liberals? Will you sleep well at night, knowing you’ve torn a family apart with your subversive ideas, your twisted morals, your polluted beliefs? You may succeed in giving the gays their precious marriage rights, but hear this: Even if we end up old and lonely, you won’t take us straight, wholesome people down with you. You’ll never force us to share marriage with the gays. We’d rather abandon it altogether.

Sincerely,

Rick Santorum

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